Simply Jennifer

Be mindful of who you surround yourself with. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my healing journey is that energy is contagious — for better or worse.

During a really difficult season of my life, I reached out to a friend for support. I had been isolating and carrying everything on my own for months. In one conversation, she gently reminded me to notice how the people around me made me feel — not just in the moment, but afterwards too.

I had a close friend who always seemed to be stuck in survival mode. Something was always going wrong, and she was constantly bracing herself for the next bad thing. I became so invested in her life that watching her struggle made me physically sick. I gave her every tool, piece of advice, and bit of support I could. But eventually, I had to accept that healing is something only the person themselves can choose. Their anxiety, paranoia, overthinking, and fear slowly became my own. Without realizing it, I was absorbing everything they carried — and it began to damage my own mental health.

At the same time, I had allowed my ex back into my life. For a year, I stayed connected to someone who was low-energy, depressed, and easily irritated with me. Being around him changed me. I became quieter. More anxious. Less confident. More disconnected from myself.

My body noticed before my mind did.

Stress filled my system. My illnesses flared. I felt disconnected, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Preparing to see certain people required anxiety medication and emotional recovery afterward. I knew this wasn’t healthy. Relationships shouldn’t make you feel sick, they should make you feel safe.

When my birthday arrived, I chose something different. I chose distance. I chose peace. I chose myself.

Going no contact felt terrifying — and freeing. Within days, I felt empowered. Braver. More capable. I began facing fears I had avoided for years. I began trusting myself again.

Letting go wasn’t abandonment. It was self-respect.

I’m not saying cutting people off will solve everything. But choosing who has access to you matters. Energy matters. Peace matters.

Since then, I’ve promised myself to surround myself with people who feel safe to my nervous system — people who inspire me, ground me, and remind me who I am and where I want to be.

Self-love isn’t just bubble baths and affirmations. Sometimes, it’s walking away.

And for anyone wondering — these were not bad people. They were not villains. They just were simply not aligned with the life I am building. I wish them nothing but happiness, growth, and love. I still care. I always will. Just from a distance.

Click here for my must reads that allowed me to distance myself, set boundaries and start prioritizing myself again.